A flame that never dies

Praise God for answered prayers. :)

Today I had the opportunity to share my faith and the Gospel with my future roommate. It was such a blessing to be able to share this part of my life with her after two and a half years of being friends and I walked back to my apartment afterwards smiling and praising God. I haven’t felt this much joy in a long time. As I was sharing about how I became a Christian, the internal struggles and confusion I had when being stuck in between worldviews, I was so powerfully reminded of how God slowly changed my own heart. 

It’s terrifying to give God control of your life, but for me it has been so incredibly worth it. God is so powerful and has worked in ways I could never have imagined. As I prayed with my friend I couldn’t describe how thankful I was for our friendship and for the trials and hardships God has put me through so that I could be able to relate and share my experiences with her. It was just so amazing to be able to open up and share about fears, struggles, and doubts, and to know that we are infinitely loved despite all of that. 

Hallelujah! Lord, I pray you would use me in many more ways so that I may be a good witness to Your name. :D

God

awho10:

Please remind me of grace and help me to love others when it seems infinitely difficult to do so

I am so grateful for my dad

Not only because he managed to take care of my siblings and I while working full time plus doing all the house work, but also because of the relationship I have with him now. I have learned almost everything from him. He has taught me to appreciate the Hakka, Taiwanese, and Japanese cultures he grew up with, to not forget my roots. He knows far more about world history and pop culture and politics than anyone else I know. I am thankful for all of the times we would have long deep conversations in Covel when he wanted to take a break from working at Franz and eat with me. I am thankful for the times when I can come home and eat food that makes me imagine what it was like growing up in a Taiwanese Hakka family strongly influenced by Japanese rule. I am thankful for his endless patience in assisting me with my growing desire to be more fluent in Chinese. I am amazed that in one breath, he can tell me all there is to know about the Boxer Uprising, about the nuances regarding the Taiwanese independence debate, and then talk about old American movies as well as his love for rock and roll and Chinese classical music. I’m glad that he has a sense of humor too, like how earlier today he told me he dreamed he was running away from Jurassic Park dinosaurs and dragging me with him….

I think there have been many points in my life when sometimes I wish I had been born under different circumstances, perhaps a different family. Sometimes I feel like life would be easier if me and my family all held the same beliefs. But I know now I wouldn’t trade my position for anything. God has blessed me with the best dad I could ever ask for.

It’s nice to finally relax after finals week (hooray for the first quarter of being done before Friday since freshman year), but it’s kind of weird after staying up late for so many nights, and coming home and seeing everyone asleep by midnight. Anyways, I was thinking about what personality type I am since I talked about it with some AACF people at Korean barbeque yesterday. The last time I took the test was freshman year, and I was an INFP. Esther said that she didn’t really see that in me, so I decided to take it again….I’m still an INFP. Haha. Guess I haven’t changed as much as I thought I did…that could be a good thing. Maybe.

Even though I’m not done with finals yet, I wanted to talk a little about how this quarter was for me. I think, in terms of academics, this quarter was one of the toughest for me. It wouldn’t have been too busy, but really starting to get into research this quarter left me with a lot less time to study. Nevertheless, I am really glad that I was still able to hang out a lot with my friends and build relationships and invest in people’s lives. I think talking to people, hearing about their struggles and the things they are dealing with in their lives, just puts a lot of my own problems into perspective. It’s easy for me to feel sad or regretful because things in my life didn’t turn out the way I planned them to, or to be scared because I don’t know what God’s plan is for me. But we’re all in the same boat, aren’t we? Jeremiah 29:11 says that God’s plans for us are for good and not for evil, to give us a hope and a future. 

As the quarter winds down, I want to take a step back and just think about how faithful God has been. I feel like the last 12 months have been pretty crazy, yet such a tremendous blessing. Despite sometimes feeling like I am in exactly the same spot I was a year ago, I think, or rather I know, that I am where God wants me to be. It’s taken me a really, really long time to finally be okay with where I am, and God has given me so many opportunities this quarter to love others, to show His love to others. Despite how I’ve turned away from Him, how much I’ve insulted Him with my sin and with my disobedience, He still loves me so much and He is teaching everyday to draw closer to Him. He is jealous for my heart. Isn’t that crazy? Jealousy isn’t a good thing, but His jealousy is a righteous jealousy, because we are His the moment we give our lives up to Jesus. 

I think this quarter is the first quarter that I could really, really see God through my academics as well. I’m taking Chem 153C, which is a biochem class on metabolism and regulation. It is seriously the best class I’ve ever taken. I really never thought I would grow to love my major, but despite how difficult it is, I think I learn so much about God just through what I study. How is He able to make us so complicated? Studying about all the intricate pathways of regulation is seriously exciting, despite how gross and nerdy that sounds. I also learned a lot through my Jerusalem class and even in Chem 30BL with Bacher (whomaybehappenstobethebaneofmyexistencebuthat’sokayhe’snotthatbad). 

Who knows, maybe I’ll sing a different tune if I fail my finals…but oh well. For now, I am grateful that despite how difficult the last year has been, God has gotten me through. And spring break will be a good time of some much-needed relaxation before the flurry that is spring quarter begins. 

:) Good luck studying, everybody! May we all look to Him with joy in everything!!